BoPo Besties – Why We Don’t Want Kids

Episode 5 Transcript:

     Natalie: Hi guys. Welcome back to the Bobo besties podcast. We have another episode for you. We’re talking about some really juicy topics. We’re going to be speaking about our experience as plus size creators and how you could get started becoming a plus sized creator. We also have an Old Navy update and why we don’t want kids. And we’re going to talk about it, lay it all down. All of the many reasons why we are choosing to be childless

     Victoria: That’s right. No child for me. Uh, so let’s start first with like, how about our experience as plus size creators? Um, what’s it been like for you on your journey? How long have you been a creator on let’s specifically say Instagram, right? Um, so how long have you been on Instagram as a creator?

     Natalie: So that’s a tricky question for me because I guess technically I’ve been a creator for about two years, but I would not consider myself really getting into being a true influencer or creator until I met you and Kali in Vegas. And that was exactly a year, like almost a year ago exactly. To this day, um, is when I really started to take it seriously and pursue it as more seriously as a hobby, but also as a potential career. Um, before that, the year before that I would say it was like I was posting once every week or two weeks. And it was just like casual, more, just as a true hobby than like, oh, I can actually make like a life out of this. What about you? How long have you been on Instagram?

     Victoria: So I probably more than a year, but, um, probably more like a year and a half, but I took a class by Brianne Huntsman, um, my coach and it was about how to get to 10,000 followers. And, um, that’s kinda when I started to do the work and look into what it meant to grow an account. So that has been slightly over a year now. Um, and I did hit 10 K in under a year. Um, but it’s, uh, now I’m at like 16 or so, so it’s been a little bit since I hit that mark. Um, so yeah, that’s when I started taking classes and that’s definitely when I was armed with the information I needed to really be serious about it.

     Natalie: Yeah.

     Victoria: Yeah. So.

     Natalie: I learned a lot from you and Kali. I think that like, again, like you two really catapulted me to think about it more seriously because before that I had really never, or I was working with like a couple brands through like a gifted capacity that reached out to me, but I hadn’t like pitched brands. I hadn’t had that like confidence to do that, or even really the know how to do that. So you and Kali were really instrumental in like helping me see the, that being a creator is like a potential career. Yeah. And you can make something out of it if you’re passionate enough about it.

     Victoria: I think the three of us really kind of grew up together a little bit.

     Natalie: We definitely did.

     Victoria: We learned together, we leaned on each other and it’s so important to have a group of people who aren’t gatekeepers, who are happy to share information, um, which is so important and really hard to find, um, especially plus size because the demand is so high or no, not the demand. What am I trying to say? There’s so many of us who want clothes and so few places to get those clothes from, for example, clothes. Um, so it kind of feels like dog eat dog and very competition. Um, and I don’t want to share these resources because then there’s less, for me, there’s less pie for me. So, um, it’s really hard to find. And that’s probably the first tip that I would suggest is find someone or a group of people who are willing to let you in and, and talk, you know, talk secrets and, um, stuff that shouldn’t be secrets, but it really is. Um, I feel in this, um, arena.

     Natalie: Yeah, it’s definitely very competitive. I think, no matter what niche you’re in, just becoming a creator and influencer is very, very competitive and it is cliquey and it is dog-eat-dog. And there is a ton of gatekeeping and people not wanting to share contacts, not wanting to share knowledge, not wanting to share tips and tricks and or what’s working for them, their secrets, so to speak. Um, and especially with plus size, like you mentioned, there’s only, you know, 5, 10, 15 retailers who carry your size. Um, there’s not a lot of options and they’re only taking, you know, so many influencers to work with every month or every year. Um, and that’s for paid and, and gifted as well. You know, they can’t give 20,000 plus size creators free stuff every month. So it is competitive. And like you said, the first that that’s great advice, finding that community, that safe space, where you do want to grow together and you do want to learn together and make mistakes together and, and celebrate successes together. And that’s extremely difficult to find. I think I was finding that are trying to find that that first like year or six months, and I was completely alone like that first year that I was just doing it for fun. Like I had, did not talk to a single other influencer, no influencer really reached out to me. Um, actually there is one influencer. I do want to give her a shout out because she really helped me. Um, before I met you guys about like a couple months before I met you guys, Iambeautycurve, Rochelle. She answered my DMS when I only had 1,002 thousand 5,000 followers. Um, and she, you know, she would give you some advice. I would ask her questions and she was really open and honest with me. And, um, she made me feel comfortable and confident that okay, this community is for me, there is a spot for me here. Um, because it can definitely be extremely isolating if you do not have friends within the community. And I did not have any, um, it wasn’t until I met you girls that I found that community. So I think the best, like, so how do you find a community? Like, that’s the question. Like, okay, it’s very hard to find them. How do you find them? I would say, don’t be afraid to reach out to people you generally like to follow. So if you’re following a fellow creator that you’re drawing inspiration from, you want to be like them, or you like their content or content style, their editing style, reach out to them, ask them questions, get to know them, um, just make normal conversation and answer their stories or be like, oh, I love that movie too. Or this or that, you know, try to form like a genuine bond with people first

     Victoria: Go after the friendship, not the information definitely build a friendly rapport. Yeah. Comment on posts. And like she said, respond to stories that goes straight to the DM. So that’s even better. Um, and you know, naturally have conversations and you might have to do a lot of the leg work. Um, because, because of that, like gate keeping feel, it’s kind of what does this person want from me sometimes. So if you go at it genuinely making a friend, um, you’re, you’re more likely to actually find a friend and I’m one that is willing to collaborate.

     Natalie: And if you’re a fake, they’ll see through that too. Like if they’re like, oh, I love that. So what’s your contact for this brand? Like they’re going to feel used. And that is like, you don’t want to use people either. Like you want to form genuine connections in the community and form genuine friendships. And then from that, you guys can learn together, grow together, things like that. And the second place I would say to find people are local people. So look at local groups, Facebook groups, um, search like, uh, your city hashtags to see if there’s content creators that are in your niche in your city.

     Victoria: The geo tag makes such a difference. Having Natalie just down the street, because we can take pictures together and we understand the goal of what we’re doing. And if it’s just a regular friend who isn’t into it, they’re really not going to not have the same passion or understanding. Um, so that even having someone nearby has made such a big difference.

     Natalie: Such a big difference. I’m so glad that me and Victoria live in the same city, because if we didn’t, again, it would be very isolating. Like even if I did have a bunch of creator friends online, okay, I can text them this and that, but I will be doing all of my photo shoots alone. I would be, you know, putting outfits together, alone, doing this alone. Wouldn’t have anyone to hang out with, or like vent to, or have like deep conversations about the industry with, you know, so definitely try to find someone in your area. And I bet you, like, no matter what city you’re in, unless you’re in the city, it’s like less than 20,000 people. But if you’re in like any major city or even mid-sized city, there’s probably someone who’s interested in the same things as you are doing the same things as you, you just have to find them.

     Victoria: Yeah it’s a lot of work, even just finding friends. Um, but you know, you got to put that work in if you want that companionship. And I think it makes such a big difference with growing your own account with, um, helping you move forward and, you know, having that shoulder to lean on and someone to bitch with, um, it makes a big difference. So yeah. Uh, finding your people, um, would be my number one tip to anyone who wants to, regardless of what size you are and what niche you’re in anyone who’s trying to be a content creator. Um, that would be like my number one tip.

     Natalie: Yeah, yeah.

     Victoria: Yeah. So Natalie, for someone who’s specifically plus size trying to get in on this, um, what kind of suggestions or tips would you have for someone just starting out?

     Natalie: Um, well, my number one is just a start because that was my main problem. I wanted to do this for years. I would say at least like five years, like since I was like 17 or 18, I’ve wanted to do it. I bought the equipment to do it originally. I wanted to be a YouTuber actually. So I got like the backdrops, the videography kind of cameras, all that stuff. Um, and I just put it off. I put it off, I put it off, I put it off, I kept putting it off. And um, the first step is just starting and being consistent. So just start posting. It doesn’t matter if it’s on your iPhone. My first year of photos was only on my iPhone and I still grew and I still, you know, made friends and got followers and connected with brands. So even if you just have an iPhone, great place to start, you don’t need the fancy equipment. You don’t need to invest a lot of money. You can shoot, you know, if you’re doing fashion, the fashion, you already have, you’re doing makeup, the makeup, you already have, you know, whatever your hobby or interest, you probably already have some of that stuff. Just shoot that. Um, and, and be creative and try new things and try different things, but just get started and be consistent. Um, and don’t search for perfection right away, because that will only hinder you.

     Victoria: Yeah, absolutely. Um, it’s about progress, not perfection. And honestly, even starting off with something that you might consider, not the best work is fine because you’re going to get better and then you can reflect on what you used to do and be like, wow, I’ve really come far. Um, and that’s, that’s perfectly okay. And people are gonna want to follow you on that journey too. Um, so you, you have a lot to give, um, and if you’re willing to give it, jump on in and, um, you know, give it, I was going to sing “jump on in the water’s fine”. Uh, thanks. TikTok.

     Natalie: Jump on in. It seems scary. It definitely is scary at first. And it’s easy to be like, is someone going to judge me? My first year was like, is my family going to find out, are my coworkers going to find are people in real life? You know what I did, this is my second tip. Block them from the beginning, make your influencer page. Anyone you’re scared of seeing, or you feel like I don’t want them to know, block them, block them from the gate. Um, don’t use your real phone number, create a different email so that it’s not hooked up to your phone or, or like professional, personal emails or phone numbers and, and block people that you don’t want to see it. And that’s what I did because I was more nervous about people in my real life, seeing it than strangers on the internet. Um, and it wasn’t until I got to like a comfortable place that I could unblock them. But I know like for certain workplaces as well, they, you know, you don’t want them to see certain things.

     Victoria: See I don’t give a shit so I just used my personal and just started taking it seriously. Um, my thing was, can I actually do it? Can I be an influencer? And a friend of mine said, yeah, you could totally do it. And that’s kind of all I needed to hear. And I was off to the races. Um, uh, yeah, so I didn’t really care about, um, being private.

     Natalie: Yeah, that caused some problems in it at work and stuff.

     Victoria: Did it?

     Natalie: Well, you, for example, you want to call out sick to go do a photo shoot or something. You can’t post about it on your stories because they’ll watch your stories to see if she really sick or not.

     Victoria: Well, the job that I was at, I probably would have told them that I was going to do a photoshoot

     Natalie: I know, but I’m just saying.

     Victoria: For other people,Yes.

     Natalie: I think for most people I would definitely keep it separate and I would block those people from the get-go so that they don’t find it. They can’t judge you and you can’t have like consequences for it, for like work or something or even family. You know, some families are very judgy. I know that are like, oh, this looks bad. Or, oh my God, this is ridiculous. Or, oh my God, why are you doing this? Yada, yada, yada, that can really kill your confidence in the beginning. When you have a friend or a family member or coworker laughing at you, like, oh, you’re trying to be an influencer. Okay. Like when you’re fresh out the gate and you have 50 followers, that’s going to kill your confidence. So that’s why I say, don’t tell people,

     Victoria: We’ll see for me, a coworker of mine made me a birthday cake once and she printed out one of my like butt naked pictures and put it on the cake and it was hysterical.

     Natalie: See, I feel like I want to avoid that at all costs. I feel like that’s an HR nightmare right there. Oh,

     Victoria: Uh, well, shortly after that I had an issue, like I was trying to apply to the Amazon associates program and they like flat, they didn’t approve my account because I had some butt crack showing. So from then, so I archived anything that had butt crack, and now I censor my butt crack.

     Natalie: Gotcha.

     Victoria: I would show my butt crack if I could, but Amazon doesn’t like it.

     Natalie: Wow.

     Victoria: And I don’t even really use Amazon associates.

     Natalie: What’s your, what’s another tip that you have for someone wanting to start.

     Victoria: Um, don’t forget that it’s a platform where you need to engage. Um, you can’t just post and ghost. You can’t just put up a pretty picture and say, see you later,

     Natalie: I definitely do that.

     Victoria: Yeah.

     Natalie: I‘m guilty of that 1000%

     Victoria: It would help a lot more if you would engage with your audience and with people who aren’t your audience yet. Um, so it’s important not only to respond to DMS and comments on all your posts in a timely manner. Um, but also to go out into the world, using hashtags, geo tags, checking out other accounts that are maybe similar to yours and engaging with that audience. And that’s how you’re going to grow. That’s how you’re going to get other people who haven’t seen your account before to discover you and maybe even make friends that way as well. Um, so, you know, there was, um, one person, Leah Vernon, who’s now a friend of mine. We would kind of comment on each other’s posts for a while. And then eventually she was like, Hey, I’m going to be in San Diego. And we met up and, and I have her book. I had her sign it, we had lunch. It was fantastic. And if she ever comes back around, we’ll hang out. And that was all because I was trying to engage with people in my community, in my plus sized community. So you never know what could happen, but for sure you will grow your audience. And you’ll, you know, you’re, you’ll widen your sphere of influence. Yeah. Um, yeah. So don’t forget, you need to engage.

     Natalie: And that’s enough for that segment.

     Victoria: That was some pretty good tidbits, um, side note, I do have an account FlyForACoach where I coach creators and businesses. So if you need any one-on-one coaching holla at me,

     Natalie: I get it for free. I’m very lucky. And it definitely is extremely valuable, valuable information. Victoria has taken so many courses, so many courses to prep her and prepare her to be a literal influencer. She took courses on how to be an influencer. Yeah.

     Victoria: And I can definitely tell people what to do better than like me actually doing. Yeah.

     Natalie: Take her advice. But she doesn’t was it, um, take my advice.

     Victoria: Do as a I say, not as I do.

     Natalie: Yeah.

     Victoria: Just do what I’m saying. All right. So now let’s dive into old Navy updates because they’ve had a real big update lately. So Natalie, what is it? What does it tell us all about it.

    Natalie: Um, so they are now selling all of their plus sized clothing in store in all of their stores, except there’s a little asterisk. They are except the size 28, correct?

     Victoria: I think it’s 30

     Natalie: Or is it 30?

     Natalie: So it’s like zero, zero or whatever the smallest is. Sorry. I don’t know to the 28 in store, if you’re in store.

     Victoria: All together, not in a separate

     Natalie: Yeah. Same. No, no. Back of the store. Yeah. Same price coupons apply for everything. So they really, even the playing field, it’s great to see a company who took the advice that they were given. You know, people were saying, Hey, old Navy, we were calling them out. There are multiple influencers who really called them out hard. And the stories tagged them saying, this is not okay. Yeah.

     Victoria: Campaigns.

    Natalie: They led campaigns.

     Victoria: Email campaigns and

     Natalie: I don’t think I should have had to gone that far to make change, but they made the change. Um, and I it’s a spectacular change. I would love to see more stores following the footsteps,

     Victoria: Like in the wake of all these stores dropping their plus line, right? Like it’s, this is bare minimum. We shouldn’t have to beg for this. Um, but because things are the way they are, it’s a pretty big deal.

     Natalie: It is a big deal. It is a big deal. And it’s very refreshing to see. And it does finally feel like a win because like you mentioned, I feel like we’ve been experiencing so many setbacks this year, especially there’s been so many setbacks. I think it was loft that cut the plus. Um, how many stores don’t have plus in there?

     Victoria: I think SimplyBe, is no longer in the U S that wasn’t, I don’t know that wasn’t super recent, but yeah.

     Natalie: Yeah. There’s just a ton of companies cutting back or it’s online only, or just refusing to expand or saying where it’s coming, it’s coming and it’s coming, but I’d never caught.

     Victoria: And then swimsuits for all having like a thing that the others like a whole other issue, but they, they had like a drop that didn’t go past a certain size. I forgot. I was like, it’s like swimsuits for just up to people who are size 14. Yeah. Swims for thins. So, so like there’s issues there, even at a place that is supposed to be inclusive and does have items that go up to a larger size. But if you look at the designs, if you really take a look. Uh, yeah. So the fact that you need the exact same designs in straight size and plus size all on the same rack for all the same price that’s

     Natalie: Coupons apply.

     Victoria: All we’ve been asking for.

     Natalie: Not shoved in the back or online only like you can walk in. So from now on, you can walk into an old Navy and find an item that is so refreshing. And it honestly like, this is what I think of because when I travel, I’m like, what if my luggage gets lost? What if I forgot something? So to know that like old Navy is nationwide to know that I can find an old Navy walk in and cloth my body in an emergency is so important. And I think people like, especially thin people do not think about that. Like if their luggage gets lost at the airport, I don’t have a problem. I can go like down the street and buy some shorts and a top, you know, for us, it’s like, well fuck. You know what I mean? Like if there’s an emergency, there’s a lot of places in this country while you, as a fat person will not be able to close their body in emergency.

     Victoria: You just got to hope that that Walmart has a plus section. Right? Yeah. And they don’t always, and it’s not always very good selections.

     Natalie: No. And even them, I think mostly they only go up to a 3X sometimes

     Victoria: I’m sure in store, their online catalogs are pretty great. Yeah.

     Natalie: Um, my only thing with old Navy though, again, the asterisk of like 30 is online only like it was one size. Like it was one size. They cut off to be online. Only like you’re doing zero, zero is triple zero to 28. But like you, but like you carry up to 30 and you’re going to leave one size, not to be in store. I feel like that’s ridiculous.

     Victoria: So the ideal situation would be, even if you can’t have it in store, you can order your size past a 30. You know what I mean? You can still customize those, those things for your exact size. Um, because going to 30 while, great. Still not enough.

     Natalie: Yeah. 30 is still not enough. And then saying, oh, we carry up to 28 in store. Oh, you’re a 30, you’re the only size that’s online only. That’s like really to people who are a size 30. Like really? I mean, it’s, it’s just like how like logistically, why did that not work? Like logistically you’re saying, oh, we’re going to carry like 10 more sizes in store. Oh. But we’re going to leave out one.

     Victoria: Maybe that’s where the purchases die off. And then they weren’t able to get above that size. That’s why I’m saying like, this still isn’t ideal.

     Natalie: But I feel like, I, I know for a fact it’s not that expensive to ship one item of that size for all the products to each store, like to say, okay, I’m going to put pull all size 30 items, one of each and ship it to each of my old Navy stores. That’s not going to break your break. The bank Old Navy like to have one of each,

     Victoria: I don’t know. I don’t know what the manufacturing deal is. I’m sure a lot of it is excuses. Honestly, there were a lot of excuses to get to this point.

     Natalie: Oh yeah. All the time.

     Victoria: It took a very long time. Um, I hope it inspires other companies to do the same. Um, because there’s, there’s a lot of places that are stop at 3X and they just say, oh, we, we hope to expand. You know, it’s kind of it.

     Natalie: I think the most ridiculous part is like, I really hope brands. See what old Navy did see the response and jump on it because the amount of free marketing free, positive marketing that Old Navy got was outstanding. Buzzfeed reported on it. News outlets reporting on it, every single plus sized creator posted about it on their stories for free, like the amount of free, extremely positive publicity that they got from doing this, I think probably equals out to the money they spent to get those sizes to the store anyways. So it’s like, I, if I was running a company, which hopefully I will, one day, you know, it’s like, yeah, I want to do something that people are going to applaud, that people are going to associate positive thoughts that, that people will appreciate. And like, look how thankful the plus size community was like, it’s ridiculous. We were that thankful, but we have to be, because it was such a momentous moment and we fought so hard for it. It was a big moment. And it’s like, why wouldn’t any other brand want that?

     Victoria: Yeah. Yeah. I don’t know what the issue is what the holdup is with, um, getting larger sizes. I don’t get it. Um, it’s very frustrating as someone who’s a size 26, I’m sized out of a lot of places. Um, and typically when I want clothes, like I don’t want to spend a pretty penny on those clothes. Um, so. But that is one of the perks of being a plus sized content creator. Um, while it’s hard to get paid gigs, it’s not super difficult in my opinion to get free clothes. Um, so that is one of, one of the options you have as a plus creator. Um, yeah. Uh, that’s kind of how I’m dressing myself these days is with free clothes. I haven’t paid for clothes unless there’s something really, really special that I want. I haven’t paid for clothes in a long time.

     Natalie: Yeah. It’s only special things. And for me, it’s also like basic basics, like underwear and bras. I still buy leggings. I still bought from like Torrid. And like the things I wear every single day, like bra, underwear, socks, stuff like that.

     Victoria: I gotta say, I’m running low on, good undies because I have like some lace that has ripped recently. And like, I need to, I need a refresh at our, went to lane Bryant to check on their underwear situation and they have barely any options for me.

     Natalie: You went in store?

     Victoria: No, online.

     Natalie: They sell out of their underwear too quick. Yeah. No, that’s why. So I looked multiple times. My favorite are the full brief high-waisted panties. So like the full granny panty package. My favorite. I remember, I think it was earlier this year and probably because of COVID too, they’re having inventory issues. They did not have those underwears for like six or more months. And I just had to buy the full brief, not high-waisted and I hated them and it was a waste of money, but I had to wear it. I had to wear underwear. Um, so I like waited and waited with check all the time to when those were in stock and I bought a bunch and then I wanted to buy more like a couple of months ago when they were already, like they were sold out. So they’re having inventory issues probably because of COVID. But my favorite underwear are the, is it Cacique? Is that how you say it? Cacique.

     Victoria: I don’t know. I assume

     Natalie: Um, by Lane Bryant, my, those are the only underwear I wear. Um, the panty drop ones that I collaborated with. They’re actually very, very nice, but they are thicker. So if you’re in like a warmer climate, the cotton from the Cacique is a lot thinner. Might be like, not as hot,

     Victoria: I get the really like silky ones.

     Natalie: Like the no-show like the thin polyester.

    Victoria: Um, I don’t know exactly what it’s called, but it’s got the butts cinch. The cheeky, I think hipster is the one that I get. It goes up under my button, under my belly button.

     Natalie: Got you. Yeah. Got you.

     Victoria: But like it doesn’t roll down.

     Natalie: Gotcha. Oh yeah. That’s good.

     Victoria: Well, I like that. I think I’ve talked about,

     Natalie: Yeah. You like the bunch cinch.

     Victoria: I do.

     Natalie: I hate it. I can feel it. And I’m a cotton panty girl. If I don’t wear cotton panties, bad things happen down. The pH goes wild and it’s not good.

     Victoria: So Yeah. So like even sourcing our favorite underwear is a fucking challenge

     Natalie: Oh, that’s a really good- if you have like pH issues down there, I just should just talk about it. Cause I know about it. Cause I used to struggle only cotton panties. Okay. Do not wear underwear to bed. Wear loose pajamas that air out that area, ladies.

     Victoria: I sleep naked. I wear nothing.

     Natalie: Well, good your air in and out. You need to air it out. Do not wear underwear to bed. But when you do wear underwear, cotton only, and then definitely use like a nice, um, I don’t know if it was vaginal washes. They’ll call like not the ones you go in. So not a douche, but just like a St. Ives. Not St. Ives. I’m sorry.

     Victoria: I use summer’s Eve.

     Natalie: There we go. Summer’s Eve or I use a generic Walmart brand. Wash that is a special pH balance wash. Yeah. It’ll save your life. It’ll save your life.

     Victoria: Keep that vagina healthy.

     Natalie: You have to.

     Victoria: We’re looking out for you.

     Natalie: We’re looking out for you. Keep it healthy ladies. Especially in the summertime. It can get bad. It can get bad.

     Victoria: I got terrible heat rash on my thigh the other night I put baby powder on like three times. The only thing that helped was having underwear on to keep my thigh off my fupa I guess?. That was where it was. Yeah. That was rough. Rough time, especially cause I had a dick appointment

     Natalie: You should get what my husband has.

     Victoria: What does he use?

     Natalie: Well, it’s the old spice brand, but they have like this special spray, I’m telling them all his business, but there’s this like, I guess like a baby powder spray or some kind of spray that it’s like an anti chafing spray it’s like powder. He just sprays it on, powders the whole area and he’s good.

     Victoria: Oh, that’s nice because with the baby powder, it gets all over the hands and then it’s all over the floor.

     Natalie: No it’s like a spray.

     Victoria: Okay. I like it.

     Natalie: I wonder if they have like different scents, maybe a female version

     Victoria: Old Spice is great. I’m fine with that. Yeah. I’ll have to check that out.

     Natalie: He has bought like 10 cans of it. He loves it.

     Victoria: Cool. Now.

     Natalie: For last segment, we are going to discuss why we both do not want children at all.

     Victoria: Only dog children.

     Natalie: Only dogs. I I’m very serious. I love animals. I think as you guys know, if you watch my stories, you would know that I absolutely adore animals. So my dogs are definitely my children.

     Victoria: Yea, um, and I don’t want kids for multiple reasons. One of which is because I don’t like kids, but also I have PCOS. Um, which tends to make it very difficult for you to conceive. Um, most likely I would need to do in vitro fertilization if I wanted to try and have kids second, because I don’t want kids or was that first anyway. Don’t want kids have, uh, PCOS sorry. My dogs is, get outta here, he’s fine.

     Natalie: She threw. Yeah. So my dogs are my children throws across the room.

     Victoria: I yeeted him onto a bed on a dog bed. He’s fine. Look at him time of his life. Okay. So don’t like kids have PCOS and I love myself. Like people might judge me, but I love myself. I like hanging out with myself. I love giving myself nice things. I like making sure I’m taken care of. Um, I like being with someone who spoils me and I know having a child in the mix would mean I would find that child more important than me. Of course. I don’t want that I want to be my number one and I’m okay with that. I want to be the cool rich aunt.

     Natalie: That’s exactly what I want to be. My sister was going to have kids, so I’m going to get to be the cool rich aunt which I’m very excited for.

     Victoria: You play with It. You give it toys, you hand it back.

     Natalie: That’s right. You weekend mommy, just for the weekend.

     Victoria: I don’t know about a whole weekend.

     Natalie: Um, yeah. I have some of the very similar reasons as you like one. Well, I don’t have PCOS well I might, we don’t know, but um, I’ve never tried to get pregnant, so I wouldn’t know if I could even have them, but I’m going to assume that I can, and then I’m making a decision. Um, one pregnancy, completely like giving birth is the scariest thing I can think of.

     Victoria: I mean people do it multiple times. So it’s gotta be ok.

     Natalie: This scare. Like I am definitely afraid of birth. That’s number one. Yeah. Number two. I wasn’t like the main one, but that’s one of number two

     Victoria: Well there’s having other people have the children for you. It’s expensive.

     Natalie: It’s very expensive. Okay. But that’s the thing. Okay. So like number two, I just don’t want kids. Like I just don’t like kids, I don’t connect with kids and maybe it’s because I’m the youngest. So I was never around children and I’ve never like, I’ve never even held like a baby.

     Victoria: See I was around children. I did have to take care of my cousins and I had no patience then.

    Natalie: Got you. I’m like, I’m afraid to hold a baby. I’m afraid to like hurt the baby.

     Victoria: I like them when they’re quiet and they haven’t pooped.

     Natalie: I think, oh, I think babies are really ugly. Like, I’m sorry guys. I think they look like aliens. No, every single baby. I think they are really gross and it’s gross that they poop and leave it, like they can’t talk and it’s like, I there’s just,

     Victoria: They don’t pay bills.

     Natalie: They don’t pay the bills that are very expensive. Sorry guys, we’re having technical difficulties again and we just can’t seem to get it right. Um, but yeah, just babies. I don’t particularly like children. I don’t particularly like, I don’t really connect with them. I don’t know how to talk with them, interact with them. I don’t know what to do with them. And then yes, they’re very expensive and I am, I want to live my life for me. So that sounds very selfish and that’s okay. I do want to be selfish. Like I want to do whatever I want to do whenever I want to do it. I want to buy whatever I want to buy when I want to buy it. Um, and I don’t want to be like having a dog already kind of holds you back. Like, you know, who’s gonna take care of my dog when I’m gone and this and that. He can’t just move. You can’t just like, get on a plane. You know, you gotta make sure your dog is taken care of, but a kid is like that on steroids. Um, so the dog is enough responsibility.

     Victoria: And a lot more limitations.

     Natalie: Yes. A lot more limitations. Um, and I just don’t have, like, I think ultimately like the number one reason at the end of the day I do just don’t have that maternal instinct of like, I really want kids and I really want to be a mom. Like I think of that. And I’m like, oh, would I be a good mom? Probably not. And I just don’t have that urge to have children. And then on top of that, you have like all the world issues and like climate change. And like the kids like born now or might not make it to 80. You know, when it’s like, that’s intense to have a child in this day and age when you don’t know if the world’s going to be here in a hundred years, you know? Um, so there’s just so many reasons.

     Victoria: And I think there’s that like tug at your humanity to leave something behind, to leave a legacy and have something that continues beyond yourself. And I understand that, but I want it to be a company. I want it to be something that employs other people and affects other people’s lives in a positive way. Not some snotty nose child that I hate, which I probably would. I have a bad attitude. My child probably would too.

     Natalie: You have a bad attitude. You’d be a horrible mother.

     Victoria: I was just about to say, I’d be a great mom. Okay.

     Natalie: Oh.

     Victoria: I think I’d be a good mom, but I don’t want to be,

     Natalie: I think you’d be the worst mom. You have zero patience and you’re always in a bad mood

     Victoria: That kid would learn not to fuck me.

     Natalie: That kid will learn to go in the room, close the door and not ask for anything.

     Victoria: Obviously I’d pay for therapy

     Natalie: Age one – go to your therapist for two hours.

     Victoria: No, it’s too I don’t have the desire to do that. I think I would. I think I, I think my instinct would kick in and I’d be a good mom, but I don’t want to, I don’t want to have to

     Natalie: I don’t think you’ve got those instincts.

     Victoria: Whatever.

     Natalie: I feel like if anything, I’m like maternal with my friends and like, I think I do have, I have maternal instincts for people like that are already alive.

     Victoria: I take care of you sometimes.

     Natalie: Eh, sometimes, but you’re probably the least maternal woman I’ve met. Honestly. You know, like Kayli is very maternal. I feel like I’m the second maternal. And then you’re down there sippin on a pina colada saying fuck it.

     Victoria: Honestly, the thought of watching my niece for a whole weekend sounds rough.

     Natalie: Then there you go.

     Victoria: But I like the baby stage. Like they’re cute. And snuggly only when it’s, there’s like an hour every day that they’re cute. And they

     Natalie: So you want it for just that one hour. So they’re asleep, so they’re unconscious. You want, one of them unconscious for one hour.

     Victoria: I like the giggles. The little giggles.

     Natalie: No, if anything, I like the toddlers. Cause like they can talk.

     Victoria: Oh, that’s the worst.

     Natalie: But they’re not like, they’re not like that smart yet. Like they’re conscious, but they’re not like highly conscious beings yet.

     Victoria: Like maybe one years old and then.

     Natalie: Oh really? Oh, I feel like I’m okay with like the three to five.

     Victoria: Once they learn the word “No”, out. Yeah. So we’re going to be no children. Yeah. Folks. What am I trying to say?

     Natalie: Childless , childless

     Victoria: Hot aunts.

     Natalie: Um, I’m excited to be DINKs. Do you want DINKs are? Dual income, no kids. Not a twink, a dink – dual income, no kids. That’s me and my husband both workin’.

     Victoria: I thought it was double income, but it’s fine either way

     Natalie: Oh dual or double. Yeah. Double income.

     Victoria: I’m gunna be a DINK.

     Natalie: I’m gunna be a DINK, baby. Yeah. Um,

     Victoria: Yeah. I mean, even if it’s just me solo, I’m gunna make it happen for myself.

     Natalie: SINK, you’re gunna be a SINK. Yes. Throw it all in the SINK, call it a day.

     Victoria: I am the kitchen sink baby

     Natalie: She is a kitchen sink everything, but the kitchen sink that’s Victoria. What you’re missing? That’s Victoria.

     Victoria: My disposal is broken.

     Natalie: Oh my God.

     Victoria: Only run cold water.

     Natalie: There you go.

     Victoria: I’m a big old basin sink,

     Natalie: oh my gosh. Though I will say there are times rare that I’m like, that legacy thing comes into my mind and it’s like, I’m going to have all this money and all these properties and all this stuff, all these clothes and like.

     Victoria: Who are you gunna to leave it to?

     Natalie: It’s gunna be my sister’s kids. But what if I don’t like ’em?

     Victoria: That’s why I’m saying, I want to build a company. I want to build something that

     Natalie: That’s so cool. You’re going to okay. Who are you going to get the company to

     Victoria: Hopefully I have an excellent employee that I like, or maybe I have friends at the time. Or maybe if I have a significant other, maybe they have family that it would be appropriate to. You know, I’m not, I’m not, why am I worried about the stuff that I’m going to leave when I’m gone?

     Natalie: Cause you’re going to be dead. So

     Victoria: Like donate my body decide if anything, what I want is I want my body to be in a museum. I want to be donated the science. Haven’t you seen those ones where like they show you all the blood vessels and stuff, um, or doctors can experiment on me. That’s fine too. Yeah. There’s there’s like this traveling museum of like human bodies.

     Natalie: Ok I’ve heard about it. Yep. Yep.

     Victoria: Yea, I want to be on display.

     Natalie: Oh.

     Victoria: I think that’d be fun.

     Natalie: So you want to be famous even when your dead, everyone’s staring at you

     Victoria: Come and look at my little fleshy little sink body.

     Natalie: I don’t know about that.

     Victoria: I just like, I, the inheritance I’m worried about is the one I’m going to get.

     Natalie: This is going to sound really pompous and egotistical, But I think I’m pretty great. Let me start over because Victoria had a technological breakdown, um, this is going to be very pompous, very egotistical, but I think I’m great. Like I think I am a pretty good human. Like I think I’m a good person. I think I’m pretty smart. I think I’m pretty, you know, ambitious and I think I’m pretty pretty, and I think I am, you know, a pretty great person. So sometimes it makes me think like, wow, I would make, I know I make a damn good kid. Like I could push out a damn good kid.

     Victoria: Oh. See I have all these medical issues, I would be creating a person who have to deal with a lot of bullshit. Like I wouldn’t, I wouldn’t want to clone myself and have that clone deal with all the same things. Like I have PCOS, insulin resistance, sleep apnea, psoriatic arthritis, I get ulcers. Like, are you fucking serious? I have everything but the kitchen fucking sick, like.

     Natalie: Yea that’s not good.

     Victoria: And some of those things are genetics. And so, and also my dad went bald. So I feel like doesn’t that mean the kid would be bald?

     Natalie: I don’t think that’s a given

     Victoria: No like it’s like the mother’s gene

     Natalie: I don’t think it’s like a hundred percent

     Victoria: Anyway. Like it’s all like my brother and I, we say that it’s not a gene pool. It’s a cesspool.

     Natalie: That’s a great saying. I like that.

     Victoria: Yeah. I mean, and then there’s also the idea of adoption, but again, like, no, thanks. Like I’ll donate money.

     Natalie: Well, I would just be too intense. I’d be a helicopter mom. Like I get A’s and you gotta get achieve and you gotta do that and you gotta be like me and you gotta be smart and you gotta be

     Victoria: Oh see I’d want the older ones that really don’t need a lot of guidance. If anything, it’s like, here’s a place to live. Like here’s

     Natalie: No see, I wouldn’t to be like a mentor.

     Victoria: Oh.

     Natalie: Like bootcamp.

     Victoria: I’d be like, I’d like to help you stay out of trouble and provide you a place to say, if anything, like here’s a granny flat.

     Natalie: Oh yeah. So, and come and go. When you please. Gosh, your hands-off.

     Victoria: It would be like, um, I don’t know, like a little mini orphanage. No, no. They could like.

     Natalie: A halfway house.

     Victoria: Until they’re like ready to go off on their own. Like,

     Natalie: Oh my goodness.

     Victoria: I don’t know. Cause it’s like the older ones that don’t get adopted anyway.

     Natalie: No, but I feel like they need the most guidance.

     Victoria: Oh.

     Natalie: Cause they’d been in the foster system.

     Victoria: Well I’ll hire you to come over and guide them

     Natalie: Yeah.

     Victoria: You can guide them and I’ll clothe them. And

     Natalie: So I don’t know. Maybe, maybe we’ll adopt or foster or something I’ve considered it. Definitely. Especially the older kids.

     Victoria: Can’t you like can’t you host like a kid or not host. What am I trying to say? No, like a sponsor.

     Natalie: So you pay for their stuff, but you don’t see them?

     Victoria: You send them money every month.

     Natalie: You could do that. I mean, it’s still nice. They can do. Yeah. That’s all nice thing to do. There you go throw money at the problem.

     Victoria: I mean, they’re going to complain. No, That’s what I’m saying. It all comes back to having a successful business. I’ll employ people and then I’ll donate money to charities and yeah, you can give back to the world instead of this decrepit little creature that comes out of me.

     Natalie: Oh my God,

     Victoria: With all these problems, like a financial burden, emotional burden on me. No one’s going to like it. It’s probably going to be ugly.

     Natalie: Wow. So, you know, I know mine would be like, come out in a full gowns, look like an angel

     Natalie: Oh wow, you’re gunna make a dress in your womb.

     Natalie: It’s going to be like Mary reborn, Jesus reborn. That would be my child. But I just can’t. Can’t take care of you. Sorry.

     Victoria: I think the last thing the world needs is a baby machine.

     Natalie: A baby machine?

     Victoria: Yea poppin the babies out. And there you go.

     Natalie: Yeah.

     Victoria: If anything suck ’em back in baby.

     Natalie: Suck ’em back in! On that note, thank you guys for watching our podcast. I hope you enjoyed her banter and very interesting thoughts. We just say them it’s unfiltered. Um, so thanks for watching. Where can you find our podcasts.

     Victoria: Or listen, not everyone’s watching

     Natalie: Oh, listening or watching. If you’re not, if you’re listening, follow us on Instagram. I’m @Nataldee Victoria’s @FlyForAGinger and also @FlyForACoach. We would love to see you there hop into our DMs and we’d love to talk. Oh yeah and @BoPoBesties. That’s horrible. This is the podcast. Um, follow all of our pages and also hop in our DMS. If you want to talk.

     Victoria: This podcast is available wherever you podcast.

     Natalie: That’s right. Spotify, right. Yeah. And I don’t know, Google, just Google it. All right guys. Thanks so much for watching and listening and see you next time.

     Victoria: Bye.

     Natalie: Bye.